Always Awkward

The relationship between you and your ex boy/girlfriend is always awkward. Period.

I do not care if you are the nicest person in the whole world or your ex is the nicest person in the whole world or you guys had a decent break-up or you guys still maintain some kind of friendship over the years – the relationship between you and your ex is bound for awkwardness. Everyone who says otherwise, I am very sorry, I would never ever agree with you.

There are, of course, a certain degree of awkwardness.

There is a level of awkwardness where you eventually have to accept each others’ new boy/girlfriend.

There is also a level of awkwardness where a relapse is occurring. You know the drill. When you are upset and lonely, you feel like you don’t have anyone you can talk to, then suddenly you thought about your past relationship and how you seemed very happy, which makes you think about your ex and eventually you are suffering a relapse. You initiate a reach towards your ex – it feels awkward at first because of familiarity feelings mixed in with guilty pleasure – but then you fall off the wagon and craving for what you think is love (when it’s possibly just a simple pity from your ex, or worse when s/he is simply keeping you on a loose string that s/he can pull at a perfect timing). There’s that level of awkwardness.

Another level of awkwardness is when you and your ex’s family are already involved. Many of you know this: you got to know your ex’s family during the relationship. You got along well – you guys like each other and both parties have dreamt of having each other in the family. Suddenly you and your ex break up and then you are in the cross roads. Here comes the new level of awkwardness: what do you do? Do you stop contacting your ex’s family and pretend all those dreams of including each other in a family reunion never happened? Or do you pretend that you are still friends with your ex (which is also another level of awkwardness), which could lead to a decent relationship with your ex’s family? Either way, it is bound to be awkward.

I, somehow, have found, in my opinion, THE ultimate level of awkwardness. I used to think that this level is unthinkable, beyond any level of awkwardness that I have experienced before. This level of awkwardness is reached when you and your ex stop all means of communications but your family and your ex’s family are still in contact. This, I found out, could happen if you and your ex were friends since you both were babies and later in life you decided to give the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship a go. It did not work with you and your ex but the friendship between your family and your ex’s family is inevitable because they have been friends even before you were born.

Come to think of it, this could also happen if you were in the middle of an arranged marriage but then managed to get out of it with a politest way imaginable. (The possibility of this happening is minute, but it is not impossible.)

So, anyway, back to the level of ultimate awkwardness.

You and your ex are no longer communicating, but both families are still in contact. Awkward, right? (Those who said no, I am very sorry, I would have to kill you.) But this is by no means THE ultimate level of awkwardness.

THE ultimate level of awkwardness is achieved when your ex’s mother is at your house conversing happily with your own mother (with you listening in – not eavesdropping) when suddenly the topic of their children comes up and the conversation goes like this:

Your Mother (YM): how is … [insert your ex’s name here] doing?

Your Ex’s Mother (YEM): s/he is fine. S/he has two children now.

YM: two children. nice.

YEM: how about … [insert your name here]?

YM: s/he is fine too. S/he was just back from … [insert a name of a place], her/his friend just got married.

YEM: oh really? who just got married?

YM: … [insert a name of your and your ex’s mutual friend]

YEM: wait, they are friends?

YM: of course!

YEM: If … [insert your name] and …  [insert a name of your and your ex’s mutual friend], that means … [insert your name] and … [insert your ex’s name] are friends!

YM: well, duh!

THAT is THE ultimate awkward moment in your whole life.

I mean, ever wonder what is going through your ex’s mother’s head? Has your ex’s mother (and, to some extend, probably, all members of your ex’s family) erased you from their memories? From their lives? Did she (or they) simply refuse to accept the fact that you and your ex had a relationship at some point in your both lives?

I mean, I don’t blame the ex’s mother (or family), really. The relationship between you and your ex might mean absolute nothing for her (or them) – that it was simply a puppy love between two stupid teenagers. But really? Forgetting you and the friendship that you and your ex used to have prior the boyfriend-girlfriend phase? THAT is what I call THE ultimate level of awkwardness.

In any event, my point still stands. No matter what you and your ex do, your relationship after the boyfriend-girlfriend phase ended is always going to be awkward. Please ignore the bull crap you’re feeding your brain and heart every single day after the break-up. It is going to be awkward. Accept it. Deal with it. Be happy.